Shadow

** This poem was inspired when I listened to Jason Isbell sing "Live Oak" and is about a female character struggling to leave her past behind. **


SHADOW

There’s a shadow right behind me

 Following everywhere I go

She’s a part of my past

I don’t want anyone to know

And I wonder if he met her

What he'd have to say

Would he still love me

Or would he turn away?

I left home at 17 thinking I knew everything

About trading beauty for fame or an expensive ring

I made my way to L.A. with my thumb or on my knees

Baring myself for cameras that offered dollars and a please

I reached the City of Angels

Found there wasn’t one in sight

Just a thousand girls like me

Working long hours through the night

I thought I was damn good at using others for my gain

But couldn’t win against the men holding all cards in the game

Attended an exclusive party--

The bouncer slipped me in the door

And saw a man more beautiful than I’d ever seen before

He treated me like gold from the time that our eyes met

But when he asked about my past I’d say “I’ll tell you, just not yet”

There’s a shadow right behind me

Following everywhere I go

She’s a part of my past

I don’t want anyone to know

And I wonder if he met her

What he'd have to say

Would he still love me

Or would he turn away?

Inevitably we stumbled upon

A couple actors we both knew

With each story that they told

His fascination with me grew

And when we made love, he would push the boundaries

Wondering where this was headed, I asked when he’d marry me

He laughed at me and whispered

“Let’s try something new instead”

Twisted my arms behind me and tied me to the bed

With my body bleeding, and a knife right through his heart

I left at 2 a.m. to catch a plane to a new start

I listened to his death
Storied on the television news

While with ice and lots of makeup 

I doctored every bruise

There’s a shadow right behind me

Following everywhere I go

She’s a part of my past

I don’t want anyone to know