You Showed me Gold

You stood in the lamplight with wind whipping your hair

Glowing radiance -- nothing else I knew could compare

When I complained about the cutting cold, you said

“Be thankful the rain has passed and dark clouds have fled”

You always saw the upside while I found the dark

And while I battled demons, you were making your mark

The only surprise was how long you stayed with me

Gone when being my savior became an impossibility

I alone had to fight my demon with ax and hammer hit

With fists, knees, and foul words until I conquered it

By the time I was free of the past, mended and strong

You were long away gone; long, long away gone

I guess you were a messenger sent to me

Teaching me, so I could learn a new way to see

You showed me gold when I saw nothing but rock

You stopped me from yelling; taught me to talk

Now I think of our time like the calm between storms

Like placid water before the rocks where rapids form

And I think of you when I walk out in the night

And the wind chases the clouds and rain out of sight

I alone had to fight my demon with ax and hammer hit

With fists, knees, and foul words until I conquered it

By the time I was free of the past, mended and strong

You were long away gone; long, long away gone

Now I think of our time like the calm between storms;

Like placid water before the rocks where rapids form

And I think of you when I walk out into the night

And the wind chases the clouds and rain out of sight

Secrets

I have held secrets and I’ve allowed lies

Of omission to cloud the sun

What you don’t know can’t hurt you

But that doesn’t change what I have done

Guilt is a wretched, futile emotion

With no value; it builds no goodness inside

I still hang on to my inclinations

Don’t ask forgiveness for my pride

Desire is wanting more than one life

One lone life is too fast and too small

Like moths seeking light we bash the glass

Battering our wings until we fall

So we have brightness and shadows

We have our truth and our pretense

We walk on water as we drink blood

And we stroll both sides of the fence

We’ve bound ourselves together

For good times, boredom and ill

I’ll play your help-meet and navigate

Across painted plains hard and still

If I give you something precious

Before the veil of time runs out

Will you believe, liquefy, and hold on

Smoothly washing away your doubt

My secrets are only whispers

No substance to be spotted by drones

They mean nothing to you; only to me

Nothing real on their brittle bones